Monday, February 12, 2007

Anything More You Need On Anna Nicole?

Anna Nicole Smith. Texas girl made good, and the press hounded her into the grave.
Once again, I hadn't seen her on the cover of any Hollyweird news magazines, therefore didn't know she was still in mourning, involved in a paternity battle, didn't know she was in Florida.
But what do I know?
I heard she was Playmate of the Year, but I haven't subscribed to Playboy in years - actually I don't think I ever did.
I always preferred Penthouse Magazine, for the articles of course, but I also haven't picked up a copy in years.
Once again, I prefer news stories about two headed chickens from outer space that lay eggs shaped like pyramids.
Oh, yeah, did you hear that George and Laura Bush were doing a trial separation, according to one tabloid?
Why wasn't CNN all over that story?
Come on, Larry King, Anderson Cooper and fellow muckrakers at Certainly Not News, do some homework.
You did more vigilance on Anna Nicole than you did for Gerald Ford.
I'm afraid to turn you on, I might have to see the Anna Nicole covered up and rolling into a building on a gurney shot?
How many times did you air that one, Anderson?
Go back to New Orleans.
I want more Katrina news.
Sorry about that rant, Anna Nicole. I'm sure you were a very nice person.
And I thoroughly enjoyed that HBO special about your East Texas cousins who came a visitin' a couple of years ago.
I hope they didn't hit you up for money.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Why obssessed with Jessica Simpson

I'm having lots of trouble understanding why people in this country are so obsessed with people like Jessica Simpson and other Hollywood celebrities. We follow Eva Longoria and that Spurs player's every romantic move, and the local paper joyously announced they're getting hitched. Simpson is cute, but so are puppies.
What's the big deal about following movie stars around like they're gods and goddesses.
Are our own lives so dull and boring that we've got to grasp at any piece of a famous person we see?
Personally, I have few cares whether Brad Pitt is boinking Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie, or whose baby they've adopted this week.
It just don't matter in the grand scheme of things.
And I prefer those stories about Alien kidnappers resurrecting Elvis, or the birth of a three-headed, cloven-hoofed zombie baby.
I want to see more of those stories.
Who Jessica Simpson is dating - or not - this week is not interesting.