Monday, October 02, 2006

"Derelict" Magazines Not So Popular In The Past

There was a story printed in the New Philippines Monthly in the 1980s about an upstart newspaper publisher who lived in the Coastal Bend.
He apparently was disgusted by the inherent disgustibility of human beings in general - or maybe he merely wanted to capitalize on it.
His publication was titled "Toast of the Coast." It hit the newsstands weekly, and it was full of photos of deadly auto wrecks; of murdered corpses, drowning victims, and of stabbing recipients bleeding to death on the curbside before the ambulance arrived to the rescue.
My favorite, or did I just imagine it? The "Drunk of the Week" photo, usually of some hapless spring break reveler who had driven his souped-up girl-bait buggy above the 2.5 mph speed limit on the beach after having imbibed three cases of malt liquor.
The magazine had such a high readership, the local Chamber of Concrete waxed embarrassment, offered the man an outrageous sum of money to sell his publication; and he took the money and ran.
We need such publications these days.
Human beings are predatory in nature.
That's why furniture stores are constantly conducting "Going Out Of Business Sales."
My condolences to the parents of the children who have been murdered, not just in the United Whites of America, but in countries all over the world.
But I'm also predatory in nature, and I wouldn't mind making a pile of money off of somebody else's misery - no different than the practice of CNN, ABC, NBC, Fox and etcetera.
I wouldn't hesitate to publish photos of bloody corpses on the front page - especially if they are children, because that triggers the inherent fear that human beings harbor; the same fear that factors in the mass marketing decisions that corporate executives make in an effort to fleece the average earth inhabitant.
I have children too.
I will not teach them to vote for politicians who intend to invade their spaces with their deviant sexual fantasies, whether it's through AOL Instant Molesting, or otherwise.
I believe I'm finding a voice in this particular "derelict magazine" genre.
Stay tuned ... some shocking revelations about your hometown are forthcoming.
You won't read it anywhere else, and you don't have to be bothered with all the advertisements that play on your fears.
At least ...
not yet ...
have you paid your auto insurance bill this month?

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