You're Saving The World, Alton Verm

There's not much else to do in those Piney Woods in East New Philippines, except to pick through a classic, already banned or challenged book, such as Ray Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 451," and demand that the local school district ban it for having dirty words like smoking, the Bible, etc.
Hence, Mrs Diana Verm said it best: "The book had a bunch of very bad language in it. It shouldn't be in there because it's offending people. ... If they can't find a book that uses clean words, they shouldn't have a book at all."

Okay now, let's all think up some "clean words."

And would somebody PLEASE lend me their copy of "Ella Minnow Pea?"